Finally, finally, finally! It's not Square Enix or Blizzard, but at least getting featured in an independent studio from my hometown delivers a certain tumult of joy! It's a pretty bold statement Teritori Studio is making. Setting up such a tertiary-natured company in a community where the people hasn't gone past the bare standard of living? What shot us in the head back then I wonder. Don't get me wrong. Being part of the movement really gets me enraptured. It is the benevolence of my mentor, Mr. Henryca Citra that makes all these possible with the contacts he gathered while working for years in Japan. Still, I was scared at the same time, setting out on a journey with real clients hailing unstoppably from all over the world.
I went to an AIESEC conference in Adelaide a few days ago. If there is one thing I rediscovered during my 6 days of stay there, is that of courage. I remembered talking to a very interesting girl who changed her major from industrial design to business for the reason of financial security. During a particular drinking circle, I could recall how wearily my comrades, flushed out their emotion to vent away their apathy towards life. Countless times I found myself in awkward encounters, talking to new people above my ranks, with way more passion and zest than me trying to change lives with their eloquence. I saw people succeed, fail, try again, and from the wisest conference clown ever I learnt my lesson:
"Courage is not the absence of fear. It is knowing that fear exist, but still moved on to conquer that fear"
That is indeed true. Many times I felt inadequate being just a member and a designer of such a huge organization. Speeches were made, with hopes of uplifting "small but integral" pieces as part of the team. I don't know about other people but it always comes to no avail in my case. I saw so many lives being changed since day 1. Yet, I was still pessimistic that the vision of "fulfillment of humankind potential" is merely a gimmick. I almost fell to the trap of thinking that designers are just people who "makes things pretty". Being associated as a designer can potentially mean that I'll be judged only by my profession, and not as a person.
But that's exactly the fault. I was too afraid of judgment. If only I could've reached out more and see how people are actually inspired by my resilience to stay in the world of art. If only I have shared more of my stories and not be a wuss sitting at the corner and sipping a late night cup noodle. If only I can convince one more person to believe in what they are truly capable of, to challenge the status quo and have a vision. If only I could see the person and not the position, I'll have more and more stories to blabber about and introversion definitely isn't an excuse.
In any case, what's done is done and there's no use crying over spilt milk. I guess the post conference withdrawal syndrome is over now but as an artist, designer, and an AIESECer , I'd like to challenge myself to have the courage to stay by my stand and do whatever is necessary to move a step closer towards the dream. That means having a vision and purpose instead of just being a draftsman. That means having the discipline to stay honest and undaunted besides the fear of uncertainty. That means working hard and smart for the projects I am involved in whether it's for profit, volunteer, or social purposes.
Man, that's a huge chunk of lame, cheesy, but necessary rant.
On a side note, teritori studio's portfolio can be seen here at: http://teritoristudio.com/
Laters folks!
No comments:
Post a Comment